I've Learned ...

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it
seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things:a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. 
I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back. 
I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. 
I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to feel shame of feeling ill again.
I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someones life , People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Sealed with  kiss  by Nandini !

H-O-T

Do you feel a certain restlessness ? maybe breathlessness coupled with butterflies in your stomach,which ultimately makes you see small small stars and countless planets in front of your eyes?
Don't worry it isn't that usual confluence of emotions called LOVE , you're just getting a heat stroke.

If you never knew the meaning of feeling HOT, well now you know it. At least I do :|

My feet and hands have been charcolized and I don't even live in the Africa .... wondering if that would make me candidate enough to be a penguin in my next reincarnation. Sigh!

You know the heat has got to you when you cant think about anything other than it.
your thoughts go like : "Oh No! Its so shine-ly sunny outside" or" Man! Can't bear to step outside  even for the  exam I have to give" or "Where's my chata , where's my chata"[ jo mere pass kabhi thaa he naii ]

Even people like me who always believed that SUN is really a very good source of Vitamin D have been taken down.I dont know if SPF's even work, but I sure need a LCD screen.And then amidst all this hotness, I've still   have to go  out side, forgetting  about the omnipresent yellow-ness,  

So stay cool my Friends I have little more then 4 weeks to go from here! after that I'll be in Normal-Land :) 
Enthused by reactions of friends and family here is my perfect recipe for cold coffee:-

For 2 glasses :-

Pour in a Mixer/ Shaker

7-8 cubes of ice
4 teaspoons of coffee 
2 teaspoons of sugar
1/2 glass of cold water
lil less than 1 full glass of milk

Mix/shake as long as u don't hear the ice getting crushed. and Viola! Its ready :)"

tip 1: to save your mixie from damage, you can crush the ice before putting it in.
tip 2: never ever and swear to god use those ghastly instant cold coffee pouches!!

Sealed with a kiss by Nandini !

Scream Enough and You’ll get what you Want...

The other day I was about to discharge a psych patient who had been signed out to me from the night before. The psychiatrist had evaluated a woman with a long history of cocaine and ETOH abuse who had come in seeking psych admission. It was evident to the doctor that the patient was just “wanting a place to stay” because she did not like staying with her sister any more. She denied suicidal ideation and had never had a history of self injury. Thus, he told me I could discharge her. Great. No prob.

Five minutes later all hell broke loose. The woman absolutely refused to leave and threw everything around in her room. She screamed curses at us and spat on the floor. She capped off this tantrum with a loud proclamation – “God Dammit, I am gonna KILL MYSELF if you don’t admit me!!!! To me, this was obvious bull shit and I was ready to call the police to escort her out, but alas, my spineless psychiatric Doctor  had no such balls. He broke down after 10 minutes and admitted her for hotel room accommodations at taxpayer expense because of her threats. Of course I found out that two days later, after the long weekend, she signed herself out of the hospital, evidently convincing the psychiatrist on call that day that she was not suicidal after all. What a surprise.

Sealed with a kiss by Nandini !

Got 10 Minutes to Run and Get Something to Eat? Think Again.

It really sucks when it is so busy that you don’t get a chance to eat for 8-10 hours. I am not counting poaching a Jello cup from the patient refrigerator – I mean able to sit down for 10 or 15 min and eat some left overs from the night before or some semi-edible grub from the cafeteria. You basically wait til you see the opportunity (like a short track speed skater waiting to make a pass) and then seize it. You suddenly realise everyone is on a holding pattern no one needs to be seen right away. Off you go. You decide to rush off to the cafeteria and hopefully there is something there that is not totally laden with fat and sodium that actually tastes good. You stand in line anxiously awaiting your turn to pay so you can scarf down that pasta  thing. Unfortunately fate can be cruel. You may get  call back to report to the station or  there may be several elderly people in front of you taking a million years to count out pennies to pay for their Boston Creme Pie, You may have forgotten money yourself. Or worse, the person in front of you may suddenly get lightheaded and syncopise right there in the check out line. You will then have to abandon your anticipated nourishing behaviour and put your food down. You will have to run the rapid response call right there in front of the register while everyone gawks. You will have to help put the person on the stretcher and then accompany them over to the ER. Alas, they will be your next patient and you will remain hungry.

Sealed with  kiss by Nandini !

I'm Afraid .

I'm afraid of giving up 

giving in

and letting go,

I'm afraid of the ticking clock 

passing time 

and missed opportunities,

I'm afraid of my own emotion

unstable as I

such a foolish mess,

I'm afraid of lost control 

lost sanity 

and loss of life 

Sealed with a kiss by Nandini ! 

I love you. HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, Dad

I have spent twenty two years of my life under the protection and love of my personal angel, an angel who rejoiced when he first held my hand, and an angel who witnessed every phase of my life and recorded it in his most special memories. My angel, my idol, my first love – My FATHER.
I don’t remember when I first called him papa. But I know he remembers even the minutest details of that moment. He didn’t let me hold to people till I was almost one year old as he says, I was only his. A gift of god, he refused to share with anyone. He is as bit as possessive about me still.

Well one of my few memories of my childhood includes sleeping on dad’s chest. Every night when he used to come from the hospital, I used to cuddle up in his lap until I was asleep. I used to go to him crying in the night when my brother used to scare me to wits. And how my brother used to get so many scolding for it.

It’s weird how time flies. We have this walnut closet enclosing our TV. During my toddler days, my hand would never reach the handle of the closet, so I had to ask dad to open it for me whenever I wanted to see TV. My dad always used to tell me one thing “Nanu! Don’t you dare grow up.” Since then that cupboard became the indicator of my growth. And today, I can easily reach the handle. Dad keeps telling me annoyingly, “I had told you not to grow up na? You didn’t listen to me”

Yes, I wish I were the same little girl. I know in his mind I still am, but I grew up. I wish I could still cuddle into his lap and dream away into the world of fairies. I wish I was daddy’s little princess again.

We went for a trip to Switzerland, just dad and me. Dad said to me there “Nandini, you know you are my biggest weakness. You are even important to me more than my own life. I am so happy, that I could show my daughter the world. This has been one of my best trips”

I am the weakness of my father. And my father is mine.

So, here is a little message for you dad.

I am not the perfect daughter you wanted. But you have been the best father. I have troubled you hurt you in ways unforgivable. But still you keep lavishing your unconditional love on me. Will my saying thank you suffice? No, that would not even be close to it.

You gave me the best of the world,   I gave you tears but still you call me your lucky girl. I wonder will ever be able to repay you in this lifetime. I don’t think I ever can.

You have spent sleepless nights when I have fallen ill. You have squeezed my hand every time I am in pain. I am hurt and so are you. My every problems, every surgery has pained you in the same way as they used to hurt me. I can’t understand the bond we share, maybe I won’t till I am a parent myself.

I love you dad.  I love you more than anything in this world. It kills me to hurt you every time I'm not well . I wish I hadn’t and if given a chance I would go back in time and erase every moment that has ever pained  you.

I know I can’t reach the depth of your love, nor can I love you in the manner you love me. But I promise dad, one day you would be proud to be my father. In the same way, as I am proud to be your daughter.

I am left with few years at home with you. I will get married and go to an unknown place. I don’t know dad if I will be able to adjust. Will anyone give me as much love as you did? Will anyone give me love even when I make a mistake? Will I be any ones princess there? I know the answer is a NO. No one can love me the way you do. So I will miss you, every moment, every second of my life.

Dad, I can’t imagine a life without you in it. Please stay with me, as long as it takes. If I could, I would give you my lifeline even. I love you. I will always.

I pray to god that he gives you a great health. May I always be blessed with your presence in my life. Thank you God, for giving me my angel. Thank you, Dad for being one.

Sealed with a kiss by Nandini !

Without A Doubt Will Stop Loving You..

When Tears Never Fall
And Birds Never Fly
Winter Never Ends
And Children Never Cry

When The Sun Never Shines
And The Moon Never Glows
When Darkness Is Too Bright
And The River Never Flows

When The Nights Are Not Dark
And The Days Are Noit Light
When Forever Does Finally End
And The Eyes Have No Sight

When Confusion Is So Clear
And Voices Cann’t Be Heard
The Sunset Never Fades
And No One Says A Word

When Ears Can Not Bear
And The Grass Never Grows
When Hearts Can’t Be Broken
And Eternity Is Too Soon

When The Wind Never Blows
And The Rain Is Never Wet
When The Ocean Is Not Deep
And The Earth Is Not Round

When Angels Don’t Protect
And A Fact Is Not True
When The Truth Is A Lie
And Fake Becomes So Real

When Rainbows Have No Color
And Something Wrong Seems So Right
When All These Things Finally Happen
When They Finally Come True That’s When I
Without A Doubt Will Stop Loving You!

Sealed with a kiss by Nandini !