I went to a very posh lunch with My Dad and My brother Amit where the average age was between fifty and a hundred. Lunches like that can be slightly straining and when I’m in a circle of people I’m not completely at ease with, I do one of two things. I either be quite and just smile or try to make people laugh. On arriving at functions, I test the crowd with either a lighthearted compliment or an obvious joke, see which one has them smiling and run with it. On this particular occasion, I hit them with ‘Is this the graveyard shift?’ which didn’t go down too well and following that I asked the Dad‘So is lunch on you or do we have to eat off boring plates?’ which had a similar effect.
So without realising it or being able to control it, I took on a whole new tact. I started talking like Anne Hathaway. And not Devil Wears Prada Anne Hathaway, Shakespeare’s wife Anne Hathaway. And God help me, I couldn’t stop.
Dad: This is Nandini.
Me: How do you do?
Host: I’m wonderful thanks.
Me: Splendid. Excuse the interruption, where would one find the water closet?
Host: Straight down the hall to your left.
Me: Thank you ever so much.
While harmless, it got worse when we sat down at a table which seated a small country and I was placed between a professor of something unpronounceable and a woman who definitely had her lifted eyes on my Dad.
Me: You have a lovely abode.
So without realising it or being able to control it, I took on a whole new tact. I started talking like Anne Hathaway. And not Devil Wears Prada Anne Hathaway, Shakespeare’s wife Anne Hathaway. And God help me, I couldn’t stop.
Dad: This is Nandini.
Me: How do you do?
Host: I’m wonderful thanks.
Me: Splendid. Excuse the interruption, where would one find the water closet?
Host: Straight down the hall to your left.
Me: Thank you ever so much.
While harmless, it got worse when we sat down at a table which seated a small country and I was placed between a professor of something unpronounceable and a woman who definitely had her lifted eyes on my Dad.
Me: You have a lovely abode.
Amit: Nandini, why the hell are you speaking like that?
Me: Hush young man.:P
Me: Hush young man.:P
Amit: Nanu, you sound like an idiot.
Me: Methinks not.
Host: Nandini, help yourself to some with some food .
Me: Methinks not.
Host: Nandini, help yourself to some with some food .
Me: Why, it is most beauteous.
Dad: *Whispers* Nandini, why are you speaking like this?
Me: *Whispers* I have no idea. Please make me stop.
A complete lunch of ‘What say you’s?’ and ‘perchance’ and many walks in the garden to stop me from speaking to people, we were eventually able to leave.
Host: Goodbye , I’m sorry you have to leave so soon.
Me: *Whispers* I have no idea. Please make me stop.
A complete lunch of ‘What say you’s?’ and ‘perchance’ and many walks in the garden to stop me from speaking to people, we were eventually able to leave.
Host: Goodbye , I’m sorry you have to leave so soon.
Dad: Great seeing you but we must get back to the time warp that Nandini seems to be stuck in.
so yes this was my one event full day :P
